This beginners guide on how to have anal sex is in-depth.
Side Note: I put together this in-depth assesment that will uncover just how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. It may uncover some uncomfortable truths, or you may discover that you are already a queen at giving blow jobs. If you want to skip straight to the anal sex techniques and positions section. I have also created a separate guide here on how to full prepare your body for anal sex hygiene, etc.
Before we jump in, you may want listen to my anal sex podcast to learn some powerful anal sex tips for intense orgasms. Related: If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter.
Get it here. I do know that there are thousands or nerve endings in your anus, but there are even more in your vagina and clit.
So if you currently struggle to orgasm from regular vaginal sex, then you may find anal sex to be way more pleasurable. Some people consider anal sex kinky an incorporate it into BDSM scenes. The Replacement — Often, vaginal sex is out of the question. You may not want to have it if you are on your period. You may even be sore from a session.
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This is when anal sex becomes the perfect back up plan. No risk of pregnancy — This one is obvious, but anal sex means that there is almost zero chance of pregnancy.
Needs Planning — One of the biggest problems with having anal sex is that it requires some planning. This guide will teach you everything you need to know about getting prepared for the act before you even try it with your man. His Obsession — Some guys seem to have an obsession with anal sex, especially inexperienced guys.
If you are not particularly keen, but your man is obsessed, then dealing with this pressure can be a real turn off. If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck pun intended or that you are already a blow job queen. Instead, try something else from the Bad Girls Bible.
In fact, they may be more than simply disinterested in the idea of anal sex, they may dislike and even hate the idea. The same goes for anal sex. Like I mentioned ly, there are plenty more things you can do with your man. Learning how to have good anal sex requires great communication with your man.
This is going to be mostly one way communication by the way.
Your man also needs to be someone who will actually follow your instructions too. However, not all lube is made equally, there are four types and choosing the right one plays a ificant role in your pleasure. Water Based Lube — As you can probably guess, water-based lube is made of mostly water. The problem with water based lube is that it dries out quickly and then needs to be reapplied.
Stopping to reapply lube can obviously ruin the vibe. You CAN use water based lubes with latex condoms as it does not degrade them. Silicone Based Lube — Silicone based lube is the lube we recommend you use when having anal sex. It also feels super silky and smoother than many water-based lubricants. The only slight drawback is that it can sometimes be a little hard to wash out of your bedclothes. Oil Based Lube — Oil based lube feels a little smoother and silkier than water-based lube. More importantly, oil-based lube degrades latex condoms making them tear and rip.
Saliva — I decided to included saliva as often you may not have access to lube and need a backup, especially if you are having a quickie. The point of this ingredient is to kill sperm and prevent pregnancy, which has little risk with anal activity. However, most lube that is spermicidal has ingredients that are harsh on your sensitive genital and anal cavities [ 1 ] [ 2 ], and even lube without spermicide can damage cells [ 3 ]. Avoid lube with spermicide for anal or any other sexual activity. Unfortunately, even lubes without spermicide can damage the tissues in your anus [ 5 ].
This is due to osmolality, a rating of particulates dissolved in solution. Every orifice or tissue in your body has its own osmolality, and the rating differs between your anus and vagina, so you might want different lubes for each activity.
Good Clean Love is a healthier option , and Yes But and Sliquid Sassy are deed to be safe especially for anal sex.
You can also try Aloe Cadabra as slow-osmolality lube for anal sex. This section is by far the most important part of the anal sex guide. Many people report anal sex feeling painful and the reason for this is your anus. There is a ring of muscle in your anus called the sphincter that keeps it tightly closed [ 7 ].
This muscle is NOT like your bicep or hamstring muscles that you can quickly relax and contract in a split second.
Instead, it takes quite a while for it to relax and allow things to pass through it. Think of it as a very strong, but very slow muscle. So, the key to having pain free anal sex is getting your sphincter muscle to relax and open up enough so that your man can enter you with ease.
He needs to apply a bit lube to the tip of his finger and some more to your ass. Next he needs to slowly slide his finger inside you, millimeter-by-millimeter, while you give him feedback, telling his to go deeper or to stop moving or to SLOWLY pull out pulling out fast can cause some pain, he needs to do it slowly. As he slowly penetrates you deeper and deeper with his finger, it should feel reasonably comfortable.
If it becomes slightly uncomfortable, then tell him to stop moving and to keep his finger still for a minute or two. This will allow your sphincter to relax around his finger and open up. When the pain subsides, he can push a little deeper.
1. make sure you’re feeling completely supported and relaxed.
If it becomes too uncomfortable and painful, then tell him to pull his finger out slowly. Rest for a minute or two and then get him to start over. Again you should control the pace here, so tell to him either speed up or slow down, depending on what you want. Double Up — Once you are comfortable with your man thrusting in and out, he needs to try adding a second finger. Again, he should be very slow and cautious doing this, following your instructions and feedback to either continue, slow down, stop or slowly pull out.
1. what you need to know about anal sex – the pros and cons of anal sex
Once he can easily thrust in and out with his two fingers, then either try three fingers or you can start having anal sex. You could potentially be numb when a serious tear has occurred. Numbing ingredients may also be irritants [ 8 ]. The most comfortable position to start having anal sex is with your man on his back so that you are in control.
2. establish a safe word or two before you dive in.
So get him to lie down on his back and ask him NOT to thrust into you. Instead, he should remain still. After applying some lube to your man and your backside, you can then straddle him on your knees like in the Cowgirl position or even the Asian Cowgirl position. Grab hold of his penis and then slowly guide it inside your anus. Make sure to take your time.
As I mentioned above, if you feel uncomfortable or experience any type of pain stop and allow your sphincter muscle to relax around his cock. Once it has, then you can try taking him a little deeper.
The main thing here is to take things slowly. Meanwhile your man should stay lying down on his back, not thrusting.
Once you do feel comfortable moving up and down on your man, then he can start to get involved a little more by thrusting himself. Remember that you still need to be in control here. So if he gets too carried away, tell him to slow down or stop. This is the easiest and smoothest way to learn how to have pain free anal sex.
Having anal sex in the Cowgirl or Asian Cowgirl positions is fine, but if they are the only positions that you use, then you are missing out on a lot of fun. You might also enjoy these 13 positions where you are on top of your man. From Behind — Once you are comfortable with your man having more control and doing all the thrusting, then you may want to try out some doggystyle type positions, where your man is fucking you from behind.