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The Germans call it Liebeskummer. Liebe means love, that much is true. But Kummer? No, Kummer is an ongoing state and runs the gamut of awful emotions: sorrow, pain, depression, grief, suffering, distress. Now imagine living in a country where you could ring up a Liebeskummer specialist because, deep down, you know that time is more likely to heal a ruptured artery than mend your broken heart. This is our first contact. I was cynical about some aspects of the German approach, especially the Skype sessions some practices offer.
Then the Liebeskummer practices started opening. I arrange to meet her too.
See a problem?
Heinemann works in Prenzlauer Berg, the most yuppified district of former communist East Berlin. Lots of prams and young children. What does Liebeskummer mean to her? You lose your appetite, lose weight, are more likely to get ill.
The whole body is just weakened. Before she trained as a therapist, Heinemann worked as a laboratory assistant. She still does lab work on the side, researching TB, among other diseases. Like most people in this emerging mind-body sector, Heinemann is not a psychotherapist. There is no couch in this modern, light-filled top-floor practice that looks onto Alexanderplatz and the Fernsehturm.
In germany, ‘liebeskummer’ – being heartbroken – is considered a chronic condition. stefanie marsh goes to berlin to meet the experts who claim it’s an illness (they can even get you ed off work)
Buddha figurines are planted about the place. It was a traumatic episode. And I thought it would be really good if people knew that there were therapists who specifically dealt with this subject. I know that in classical therapy, no therapist would talk about their personal experiences.
Her clients want somewhere safe to be able to talk about their feelings without going into their childhoods, as they would do in psychotherapy.
Some of her clients have psychotherapy anyway and see Heinemann as a sort of add-on to get them through a turbulent time in their relationship. Recently, not for the first time, a year-old boy ed Heinemann. She directed him to therapist. They think it is normal to suffer. Time heals all wounds. Do you have that expression in English?
But you can use the time to learn something. A large part of the population is transient. You have a bad date, you go back on Tinder and find someone else.
Zitate zum kraft-tranken
They get to choose from a catalogue. Women and gay men looking for serious relationships suffer more. How many others is he still seeing?
Bontempo believes Liebeskummer is metaphysical. When you are single for five or six years. They just disappear. Regardless of gender, her clients walk into her practice bearing similar burdens. They cannot achieve closure. Every picture is like picking at the scab. You could see it as masochistic. For many people, after a trauma, they fall into a deep hole. The recommended treatment is therapy and antidepressants.
Love is pain — also a great German literary tradition. His pursuit of Rapunzel is rewarded with a fall off her tower and blindness. The German Romantics were full of it, with added melodrama, which elevated unrequited love to some kind of noble fatal illness.
The problem with modern LiebeskummerI come to realise, is that it can mean almost anything. And it is always taken seriously. A veterinary periodical poses the question: can animals have Liebeskummer? She developed her own now copyrighted training for therapists who wanted to specialise in Liebeskummer. Her adult clients are mostly women and men over They are tied together, but maybe not by love.
Maybe a wife dies. And when the men meet someone new, they find out what it is to be really in love for the first time. Sohn says that people need professional help with break-ups. She works with clients to reframe Liebeskummer as something cathartic and positive. Bluntly, love kills. She interviews survivors of suspected Liebeskummer -induced heart attacks. Broken-heart syndrome, she explains, is also known as Takotsubo syndrome and was discovered in the Nineties by Japanese scientists.
The classic scenario is a long marriage, the husband suddenly dies and two days later the wife finds herself in hospital with heart pain. Worst-case scenario, she dies. With a heart attack, the blood vessels are blocked, but with broken-heart syndrome, blood is flowing freely through the vascular system.
Certain areas of the left ventricle just stop beating, even though, unlike during a heart attack, none of the blood vessels is blocked. Most of her patients have no idea that their condition has an emotional trigger. Subscription Notification. We have noticed that there is an issue with your subscription billing details. Please update your billing details here. Please update your billing information.
Buddhismus sprüche als lehre für ein erfülltes leben
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Please update your billing details here to continue enjoying your access to the most informative and considered journalism in the UK. Menu Close. Log in Subscribe. The German clinics that treat broken hearts. Stefanie Marsh.
Friday November 225. Author and therapist Elena-Katharina Sohn. You can have the feeling of unfulfilled love not just regarding a specific person, but generally in your life.